You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
