Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize