how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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