I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
