weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
