i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
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he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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