i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Randomize
