The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
