I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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