I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
