just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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