We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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