The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
