I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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