Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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