Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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