so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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