found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize