I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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