The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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