Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
