he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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