I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Randomize
