Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
