Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
