Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
