dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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