The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize