I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Drake has all the answers
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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