Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
