I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize