I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
