I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
