two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
