it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
