so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize