i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I need to align my fucking chakras
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
