She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
