We're facebook friends in real life
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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