so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
