Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
