It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
