I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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