i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
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