I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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