awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize