Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
