I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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