It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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