Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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