What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
