While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Randomize
