Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
