strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
