Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
