one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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