I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
