everyone is single if you try hard enough
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
