we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
and she was petting her beer can
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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