What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
