oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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