life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
