guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
