I think my vagina is haunted
now i know why i became what i already was.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
