the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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