last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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