but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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